Cutting the Chords

I underwent a rather large surgery this summer to remove my thyroid (and the cancer camping out there), and then followed it up with some radiation treatment just for good measure. Since then, singing just plain hurts. The thyroid pretty much sits cozied up to your vocal chords like 12 year old BFF girls at a scary movie. And to get to it, all the muscles in the way get a good slicing. I miss singing. I’m a car singer, a shower singer, a church singer, a kitchen sink singer… you name the place, I’ll sing there. Or I’ll at least be rocking out in my head.  All that to say, to go melodically silent for 3 months has been less than good times.

The hardest part about it though has been in church. I love worship. It’s what makes church enjoyable most Sundays. I can sing to God and feel His presence. Thank Him for things He’s done in my life. Remind myself that He’s there. But suddenly I lost my big connector.

And then today I realized that I’ve been a bit selfish in what I’m looking for in worship. I want it to feel good. I like that it comforts the doubting Thomas in me. What I’m not remembering though, is that I’d like to actually just be worshipping… You know, bowing down to honor. Idolizing (Yes, idolizing. It’s a great thing in the right context). Loving. Selflessly showing my adoration without regard to how it makes me feel.

Someone once wrote a song about me, and quite possibly, it was the kindest gesture I’ve ever received. To write a card is lovely. To call a friend and tell them you care is wonderful. But to put pen to paper and create a song, design music around it, and then gather the courage to sing did more to make me feel cared for than I can really explain.

Today I sang a song to someone else. I did it knowing it comes out scratchy and hurts if I get too loud. I did it expecting no response, just wanting to make someone else feel good. Because that someone made me (and you, and the world, and, and, and). Because He deserves to have a concert for one.

And you know what, it still didn’t feel so warm and fuzzy. And it still hurt. But I know that for the first time in a while, I sang and I worshipped just to show God that I love him. And that feels pretty dang good.

Time for a travel list!

It’s a secret goal of mine to one day write a travel book. The big problem here is that I don’t really want to write about the things that tourists should see as essentials. I want to write about the silly things that make a place re-visitable. Or the top 5 things I learned in a day there (I learned in Prague that you can sweat from the front of your knee. Did you know that?) Since I highly doubt that’s publishable, I’ll stick to blogging about my vacations and the places where I live.

Today I was reminded of how much I love Colorado. And here’s why…

1. We have buffalo. I was AMAZED by this on my first visit. I’ve been here over a year and I’m still not over it. I went to Daniel’s Gate Park last week and saw some by the road and still, like a goobery tourist, I pulled over to take pictures on my cell phone. (Then I went home and ate bison chilli. Should I feel weird about that?)

2. The Pack Man wall. I don’t so much think it’s really called this, but if you go to down town Denver and head east on Market street from 21st, there’s a wall painted with hills and these silly blue monsters that look like the ghosts from Pack Man. Whenever I have visitors, I really want to drive them by my favorite wall, but somehow I don’t think other people like to see a wall that much. It was the highlight of my morning commute when I worked in LoDo.

3. Snooze. The AM eatery. I LOVE a good breakfast. This restaurant serves ONLY breakfast. And it’s fabulous. Best bloody mary’s you’ll ever find. And they serve pancake flights! You can pick 3 different kinds of pancakes (pineapple upside down, s’mores, sweet potato, black cherry chocolate, banana cream etc.) and they’ll bring you one of each! Can it get any better??? And the biscuits and gravy… Do not get me started. (Also, it’s only a few blocks from the aforementioned wall). 2 birds, 1 stone. Love it.

4. 45 minutes to Rockies, 45 minutes to prairies, 45 minutes to suburban sprawl, 45 minutes to hip down town (with a hidden awesomeness just waiting to be discovered in it’s music and art scene). Tell me where else you can get that? I’m from California, and they might tell you that people can go to the beach and then ski on the same day, but scouts honor, the water is too cold, and the snow is too slushy when you pull that kind of shananigans. You can travel the distance, but that don’t make it pretty, people… Don’t buy the hype. (Ok, I give, the beach is nice though). Point is, geography like ours just doesn’t exist anywhere else. We are the champions, my friend.

5. Toll booth kindness. Have you ever been through the toll booths on C470 and met a toll booth cashier who wasn’t just the nicest person ever??? I mean, sure maybe they have an off day now and again, but really, for having what might possibly be the most boring job of all time, they are the sweetest people! My first day here I got off the plane and knew it was a good state because I was actually smiled at by not one, but ALL of the toll booth attendants on my drive to i25. ALL 3 of them. They pass out happiness like it grows on trees! After a drive like that, who wouldn’t want to live here? Right? Honestly…

So there you have it. Issue #1 of “Why Lacey Loves Colorado”. Maybe someday you’ll get to see some flash backs to “Lessons Learned Down Under” or “Why Prague Needs Nation Wide AC”.

“Life’s Not Fair, Lacey” -my dad

Ever feel like someone just drop kicked you, then ran off with your lunch money… or worse, you watched someone big do that to someone little, and get away with it?

I was recently in the middle of a seriously conflicting situation and caught myself thinking “If only I had a super power that would allow me to influence people’s minds so that I could tattle on you, without actually telling anyone anything, but get you totally busted while being super mature at the same time”. (I think that’s the key to super powers, you’re always mature when you’re using them, because no matter what you do with them, it’s super and therefore mature).

What are your injustices? How do you handle them? Do you handle them?

IcaNSpeAKaNdWriTeGoOD. IpROmiSE.

Do you ever read back on things you’ve written, only to discover that you’ve done one of the following:

1. Spelled like a 1st grader who doesn’t pay attention in class?
2. Made no sense, even to your self?
3. Clearly gotten distracted by spilling your non-fat latte on your shirt and forgotten what you were saying in a sentence and apparently not gone back to discover that “In history the the elephant walking towards behind anyway the point here is, my cousin is funny” doesn’t actually say anything?

No? Me neither. And I certainly didn’t spend the last 20 minutes editing things I’d already posted because I was shocked by glaring errors. Nope. No way Jose.

Enjoy your Saturday. I’m going to go outside and not trip over anything in front of a group of people. Because I NEVER do that either.

Crazy Women Drivers

When I was a kid, my dad took my sister and I to D.C. to visit our Aunt Joni and my cousin Sara (who was maybe 4 at the time). She was hooked on 101 Dalmatians. HOOKED. Everywhere we went, Sara liked to quote the movie, particularly by leaning out or towards the window in the car, shouting, “CRAZY WOMEN DRIVERS!” at anyone who drove by.

She’s 4, she’s cute, she’s got flaming red hair, and she wants women off the road. Even at 9 I knew enough to know it was hilariously awesome.

16 years later, I still love the visual. And I love the feel of keys in my pocket. Just knowing I have control over when I can show up (usually late… I’m SUPER punctual. In another universe.) and when I can leave (usually early, I’m 25 going on 86 and I need more sleep than a newborn) makes me feel better. I can vote on who I like or don’t like for sixth grade secretary or US President.

What I don’t often appreciate however, is how I came into that freedom. I can’t remember where I was on the first day that women could vote, drive, have a bank account. I can read Proverbs 31 and tell you that biblically, God speaks to, and encourages those freedoms. He speaks against favoritism and racism. And for the first time in my life, I can stand up and say that I’ve been alive for a major break through in American history.

Republican or Democrat, Constitutional or Boston Tea Party (did you really know there was one of those???), is not the point. What I’m not saying here is that everyone is the same, I’m saying that freedom is offered, under God to all. In love. And maybe we’ve finally taken another step towards people seeing that…

Like it or not, racism exists. And I’m not envious of the pressure on the shoulders of our new president. But, as Americans, our boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places and we have been placed under a leadership that shows no favorite based on appearance or heritage.

And for that, I’m grateful. For that, I’m reminded to be thankful for those who have gone before me to speak out on behalf of hermeneutical freedom. As the church likes to say, it’s “culturally relevant”. All policy set aside, we’ve taken a major step here. There is a call on each of our lives, and however unlikely it may seem, we’ve been given all of the provision needed to fulfill that goal.

We’ve come so far, and perhaps we’re not where you’d like to be… But maybe this election was just an example of how much, if you feel called to make a change, you should be encouraged to do so. In 2 centuries we’ve gone from abominable slavery to Crazy Women Drivers and the first non-white president.

What are you called to? What can’t you do if the Creator has authored it?

Failing as an Outpatient

Hi, my name is Lacey. And I’m a control freak.

And I’m failing at it.

I’ve got about 10 plates spinning in the air at any given time (and if you’ve known me for more than a year, that’s actually quite a reduction). I can multitask like nobody’s business. I’ve got a running list of things to-do that grows faster than I can cross anything off, and if I’m honest, I like it that way. But the issue here, is that I’m not actually good at keeping the plates spinning. At some point, one or all of them come crashing down because life intervenes and relationships need quality time and I need sleep and really, it just can’t all be managed. So when it gets too hectic, what do I do?

I figure out what’s wrong. And that, my friends, is what is wrong. I’ve had some weighty issues to sort through in the last few weeks in just about every arena: relationships, work, church, health, you name it really. So I sort through what the issues are, looking for the root of the problem, and then (sad to say in this order) if I need to I pray.

And you know what I hear when I do that? Certainly not the magic answer to all my problems. What I hear is this, “You’re not looking at ME”.

Dang it. Luke 12:23: Life is more than food and the body more than clothes…12:31: Seek first the Kingdom and all these things will be added to you.

Seek FIRST the Kingdom. How often do I do that? Hmmmm, oh yeah. Just about never. Bring on the double failure; I’m failing to spin the plates and failing to seek the One who will spin them for me if I just seek Him first and trust in His provision.

I’d like to think I’m alone in this guilt pile-up, but some how I doubt I’m the first to stumble onto the highway to introspective paralysis. We stare at our issues, seeking an answer, often even praying for a solution to our problem of the day. But that Luke, that ever intelligent Luke, he really knew his stuff. SEEK FIRST THE KINGDOM.

So I’m trying something new. I’m giving my guilt the “bird” and grabbing hold of the freedom I’ve been offered by redemption and promise. Hang on to your hats kids, we’re in for a wild ride…

Butts Up. It Ain’t No Game.

So why do we need TLJC? Because people are kind of stupid.

Here’s an article from The New Zealand Herald to prove it:

Car Surfing Man Hurt Badly While Mooning Police

A Nelson man who police said mooned other vehicles while car surfing has been badly injured after falling from the car’s roof.

Kane Heal, 22, was in Christchurch Hospital’s intensive care unit today after the accident in North Canterbury on Saturday morning.

Police said on Saturday that Mr Heal suffered serious facial injuries when he slid along the road.

Senior Constable Chris Hughey of Hanmer Springs police told the Nelson Mail Mr Heal had his trousers down and was mooning other vehicles from the car’s roof when he fell off at a speed of at least 80km/h.

He said Mr Heal required facial surgery after sliding 20m face-first along State Highway 7 about 10km north of the Hanmer Springs turnoff.

Mr Hughey said Mr Heal had climbed on top of a Nissan car driven by his girlfriend as they travelled from Nelson to Christchurch.

- NZPA

To see the actual article, click here.

For more info on Car Surfing, check out Wikipedia’s definition (and subsequent reference to Teen Wolf. Love it.)

Rock your face off. No, seriously.

So I’ve heard many an analogy about how God refines us. You know what I’m talking about, silver over the fire… impurities burn off… yada, yada, yada. Don’t act like you’ve never used that one before to cheer a friend in need.

But sometimes I really think that the thing is, it’s not always that God is heating us up to refine us, it’s more that he’s showing us what we need to choose to let die. He’s not going to burn it all off for us.

It’s like this:

I’m a chronic face washer. I have a break-out phobia. I mean, were  we not all 13 once? I think maybe I’ve been 13 like 25 times. So I wash my face approximately 7 times a day. My favorite thing to do though, is to exfoliate. Word on the street is that the number one cause of “blemishes” is dead skin cells clogging your pores. Nasty. So you scrub them off with a sand-like paste that rubs the tar out of your flesh, but gets all that dead stuff off you.

It’s a little stingy. A lot if you get into the micro-derm abrasion (note the root of that word is very similar to ABRASIVE. The manufacturers aren’t kidding here people) type exfoliants. But, if you choose to get rid of the dead, the old, that which is blocking the skin from refining itself of impurities naturally, you get soft, smooth cheeks. Just like a baby’s bottom.

And guess why they say “like a baby’s bottom”? Cause there’s nothing dead about a newborn’s butt.

The zits will come where ever the impurities are, God can see to that (loop back to the silver analogy here). But if you’re not willing to get rid of the dead and old that should be gone anyway, you’re creating those mountainous, painful scarring blemishes that take twice the time to heal and leave you staring at yourself in the mirror instead of outside living your life.

Gross, right? In my world, that’s what makes the best analogy. Silver Shmilver. But seriously, I think I’m going to go wash my face again… And try to let go of some dead weight in the process.

A Whole New World

Caroline’s on the magic carpet ride….

And I can’t pick a look for this thing!

Growing, Growing, Gone?

I go to a “little” church.
I come from a “big” church.
I (secretly) want my church to be a “big” church.
But I also know and love that without “bigness” we can move without structure and can more easily stay “organic” or “grassroots” in spreading the Kingdom.

Because the Kingdom is spiritual and spreads on relational basis, not a structural basis, we must have focus in two directions:

1. Vertically, in our relationship with TLJC
2. Horizontally, in our relationships with each other

And in that order.

To keep human relationships real, connection has to be very 1-to-1 within the church. Fellowship is key. Keeping all of that in mind…

How does a church “grow”, but stay “grassroots” in its relational impact?

Can it? Should it?  Or should we all be in “little” churches? Have we been using the wrong measuring stick all along? Or can we have our “big” cake and eat it too?

Gimme your thoughts…