At some point, I’ll look back on my life (probably after sitting with TLJC asking him why he decided to allow puppies to poop so much. I mean really, why?) and I’ll need to answer to who I was. That, of course leads me to the question, who am I?
Maybe it’s time to take a little stock of what’s going on and what I’m using as a measuring stick of myself.
Do I feel successful? Do I feel like I’m smart? Do I feel accomplished? Do I feel pretty, oh so pretty? NO.
Gut check…. Doesn’t matter. Now I know, this sounds like one of my “poor me” blogs, but I’m going somewhere with this, I promise.
My defining factors exist in parameters that are permanently and endlessly a) lame b) unfulfillable and c) never intended to be a part of who I believe myself to be. So maybe it’s best to look at things this way….
Things I am not:
1. My job
2. My bank account
3. My appearance
4. My weight or height
5. My relationship status
Things I am:
1. Loved
2. Loved by GOD
3. Loving
4. Trying
I’m pretty sure that of that last list, 2 and 4 are just about all you need.
Something to ponder here though, you are not what you do, but are you doing what you should? What you dream about? What you’re called to? Life isn’t measured by how well we did with anything, we’re pretty much a project that God realized would fail without giving us the helping hand of Jesus. How well you do is relevant only in the degree to which you trust in your own forgiven status and what you do with that. But today might be a good day to look at life and ask yourself if you’re really doing the things you have the freedom to do within that relationship with God. I want to learn to play piano, to dirt bike, to raise a good pup (and some other stuff…).
I think tomorrow’s post may just be my list of things to do before I die…. Because I’ve got 2 and 4 of the above covered, I might as well max out the time I have. I know I’m a kid of the King and I’ve been given some big dreams to go live out royally….
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“You are not what you do, but are you doing what you should?”
AMEN Lacers! I’m ever so proud of you. I’ve realized lately that the revelation God has given me this past year – “Don’t worry about what to do – just be” – holds a much deeper meaning than I originally presumed.
We can’t ever worry about what we do — that just leads us to use that measuring stick that never works. (It’s like trying to measure with your arms… you know how you try to keep your arms as stiff as possible, but you’re always a few inches short of what the measurement actually is?? Anyway.)
But to be – just be – is a combination of 1) simply existing in God’s everlasting love & grace, and then, 2) allowing Him to work in us & work through us. Sure, it’s important to rest in God… but he’s also called us to move. To act with the dreams He’s given us. To use the talents that he’s given us, whether it be valued as 100 shiny coins or a measly 5 dingy ones.
Then, when we do move forward, take that step of faith and jump into the callings that ever persuade us whether they’re faintly whispering from a long distance away or shouting in our ears — that’s when a most glorious thing happens. The right hand doesn’t know what the left hand is doing, because it doesn’t matter. What matters is that God is working in you. And believe me Lace, God truly is working in you. Know and trust that, no matter how you feel when you get up in the morning or when you go to bed at night.
Isn’t it so awesome to be in His hands?
fantastic post, laci! you are obviously learning a lot right now, which is tough, but I respect your wisdom and attitude through it all.